Thursday, July 7, 2011

My Fevered, Absurd Nightmare Appears On Basic Cable

I'm of the opinion that dreams are mostly poor avant garde theater, made up of the worthless detritus of our minds. I'm sure they serve an important function, though I am equally certain that trying to divine any meaning from them is a ridiculous pursuit.

All that being said, it's not surprising that I rarely remember my dreams. They're usually not worth remembering, like a poorly directed commercial, or a rambling and incoherent plot in a novel.

Unless the dream involves Gary Busey and a person in a hamster suit.

What made this dream even more bizarre is that it appeared on local basic cable. Or maybe it wasn't a dream. Though it had a fevered, dream-like feel, nonetheless.

Gary Busey appears on screen/in my mind, and makes a lewd comment about a young girl. Busey turns to the camera/my mind's eye, and reassures us/me that his comment was directed at a "cute, little" car, not the girl. So far, nothing out of the ordinary.

It proceeds to get weird. Busey announces that he has come to Pittsburgh, and made contact with a group known as "The Party Patrol". A montage of tableaus over Busey's shoulder introduces us to the group, which appears to consist of the previously mentioned young girl, a man in a hat, and someone in a hamster costume. "The Party Patrol" is seen in various locations around the city.

The commercial/dream takes an ominous turn. Busey announces, "I know I'm gonna be stayin' for awhile," and this comes across as much more of a threat than an idle comment. When he declares that he and "The Party Patrol", "will be lookin' for you," the effect is quite chilling.

Busey abruptly re-appears in a blazer and open collar shirt. The commercial/dream ends. I wake in a cold sweat. Or maybe just the next commercial started.

Was it just a dream? Random images of deranged actors and hamsters, poorly plotted and rambling, like any other dream. Was it real?

I hope to never find out.

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